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Nap
Sometimes you do just need to go back to bed. Sometimes the answer your current state of mind is actually very simple. Check in with yourself – are you tired, are you well hydrated, and have you eaten enough nutrients today. We can make things too complicated sometimes, trying to find a big action to…
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Good Luck / Bad Luck
There is a Taoist parable, Old Man Of The Frontier Loses Horse, that was played out in my day last weekend. After enjoying a few hours with a friend, I headed home feeling positive and relaxed from the connection. As I started out on the 40 minute drive my low tire pressure alert turned on.…
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Listening To Ourselves
As adults, one of the greatest mistakes we can make is to not listen to ourselves. Every person has feelings and reactions to every moment experienced. We have unmet needs that are wanting to be addressed. We have desires and priorities. For some of us, especially the people pleasers, we overlook ourselves as we prioritize…
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Kindness Is The Way Through
“Kindness is the way through”This is the motto of a person working at Little Griddle (on NE Fremont in Portland); they shared it with me when I expressed gratitude for what I witnessed….they were patient and friendly in the face of irritability and they were generous and kind when grief was disclosed.
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Her Life
The Question. “Everyday she sees her life. Fade away, and pass her by. What can she do?” (Lyrics from: Her Life by Two Feet) The Answer. ”It’s her life.” (Lyrics from: Her Life by Two Feet) Adlerian therapy assumes we all have “mistaken beliefs” about ourselves and how the world works. Being open to looking…
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Compassion For Others (Part 2)
When I envisioned this article, I imagined that I’d be able to have frequent feelings of kindness towards a particular person in power. My goal wasn’t to have feelings of liking them, but had aimed to eliminate inner fear of and hate towards people in power making decisions that don’t align with my values. The…
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Hold Tight
As dark clouds appear. And your mind fills with fear. Hold tight my dear. I’ll be with you here. Hold Something Firmly To Create Safety. When fearful thoughts begin to take over, we can tumble down into a hopeless and painful place. Many of us try to isolate ourselves as a way to protect ourselves.…
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Compassion For Others (Part 1)
I have been working my way up to this post since 11/5/24. I am seeking to be able to have compassion for anyone and everyone. Most of the time, this is the default mode for me. On occasion, it’s a challenge. And I’ve taken on this challenge with one particular person in mind. I’m not…
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Aim
What does it mean to aim?Setting your sights forward towards a goal means you are willing to miss, fail, and make mistakes. It also means you are willing to forgive, pick yourself up, and keep going. I aim to have hopeful thoughts – but I also get lost in despair. I aim to take actions…
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Resolution Or Intention
Many people set resolutions for the New Year, however in America it is almost expected that we will break our resolutions early in the year. That is unfortunate, because if we truly want to follow through with a resolution we almost jinx the goal by calling it a New Year’s Resolution. I prefer the word…
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Christmas Wish
Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, or Happy Tuesday. Wishing you time for activities and connections that bring you joy and peace today!For me, today is Christmas Eve and I’m spending the morning listening to my favorite Christmas songs. I have a playlist of favorite holiday songs that inspire a sense of peace and/or joy. When listening,…
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Playfulness
Playfulness. I was raised celebrating Christmas and I still do celebrate. However, as an adult the holiday has felt significantly different. As I consider what is different for me, I think about the joy I felt as a young child when every holiday activity was charged with anticipation and bliss. Over the years, my family…
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Connection Matters
As humans, we all long to feel connection and belonging with others. For me, the holiday season increases my desire to feel connected to family and friends. However, like most Americans, I was nervous about being around family with differing political views this holiday season. I was recently hiking with my family, and walking alongside…
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Labels
I have a history of difficult experiences at dentist offices. So the label “dentist”, for much of my life, had a very negative connotation. I had a fear that any “dentist” would cause me harm. However, I stumbled upon a dentist that overcame that “bad” label. So now a trip to the dentist includes his…
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Find Your People
“In a world of strangers, you don’t know who to trust. All you see is danger, try to find what you lost. You can’t go it alone, everybody needs help. You got to find your people, then you’ll find yourself.” (Lyrics from: Find Your People by Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors) Stranger Danger. It is…
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Just Like Me
Categorizing Is What Our Brains Do. How do we end division when our brains automatically want to label and categorize? To help keep us safe, our brains were designed to put things into groups. When our ancestors were foraging for food, the unknown was unsafe. So our brains were helping us when they favored the…
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Dear Disheartened Americans
Recent events greatly impacted the hope, courage, and spirit of many Americans. I have noticed many of you getting very quiet, and even disconnecting from life and other people. Shutting down to protect, is an automatic response of the nervous system when threatened with danger. It can be wise and helpful at times to temporarily…
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Making Sense Of Other People’s Choices
Understand. Feel your disappointment, confusion, and anger. But don’t stop there. Staying in a mindset of resistance and judgment will maintain division among us. Certainly there are components in other people’s choices that could intensify our frustrations and divide us further. However, to move towards unity we need to first process our feelings and then…
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This Is Not The End Of The Story
This is not the end of the story. Find a way to calm yourself. Breathe. Create. Express. Find a way to take inspired action. Believe. Uplift. And most of all, love. When upset arises the first step is to regulate your nervous system. Upset can be anger, sadness, or anxiety and it’s simply the nervous…
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