I would like to explore a concept I call “flip the coin” from two perspectives. One is when we are feeling down due to inner judgments. And the other is related to feeling angry due to external events.
When we flip the coin we are looking to calm and initial reactivity and see our direction forward more clearly. As we work towards seeing our positive intentions – with either an internal narrative or external challenge – we are working towards embracing a hopeful mindset to build energy to empower us to move forward.
Inner Judgments:
Some days we can just wake up in a bad mood. At least that’s the way it feels – bam out of nowhere – negative thoughts, bad mood, and/or irritable reactions. And much of the time it feels like there is nothing we can do about it. When in reality, we have way more power than we realize.
First, slow down your pace and begin to observe your thoughts from a distance. Listen to your thoughts as if you are your own best friend or therapist. Here you may notice comments like: I made the wrong choice, I’m wasting my time, why bother, etc. Hopelessness and judgment are usually high when in a bad mood.
Second, tease apart the intention behind the thought. Let’s take the “I made the wrong choice” judgment and imagine that there is regret about a choice of food for lunch. This inner evaluation system is trying to help you feel better and meet your goals, such as feeling at ease in your body.
Third, flip the coin to build hope, empowerment, and energy to move forward. The side of the coin that is contributing to a bad mood is saying – I did something wrong. If we flip the coin we can see positive intentions – I want to feel better, making changes is challenging, and my experience today can help me learn. With this shift in mindset you will likely feel lighter and more empowered to move forward with your day.
External Events:
More and more these days we can read the news and get in a bad mood. Hearing about people being emotionally or physically harmed is emotionally strenuous. Many of us take it in and eventually feel enraged and hopeless. Let’s use the same process above to understand our reactions and find our motivation for forward action.
First, slow down your pace and begin to observe your thoughts from a distance. Listen to your thoughts as if you are your own best friend or therapist. When feeling outraged it is natural for our thoughts to be focused on retaliation.
Second, tease apart the intention behind the thought. Underneath thoughts of retaliation might be a desire for justice or protection. As we keep exploring we can begin to move into seeing our positive intentions.
Third, flip the coin to understand the positive intention hidden. When we are seeking justice we have a desire for fairness for all humans. When we are seeking to protect others we can see a value for safety for all humans. With this new awareness, we have likely allowed for our nervous system to calm down and have reconnected ourselves to our personal values. From here we can make wiser choices about how/where we can take action in alignment with our values.
Navigating Today 