As adults, one of the greatest mistakes we can make is to not listen to ourselves. Every person has feelings and reactions to every moment experienced. We have unmet needs that are wanting to be addressed. We have desires and priorities. For some of us, especially the people pleasers, we overlook ourselves as we prioritize the feelings, needs, and goals of others. Sometimes this is done in hopes that another will notice and care for us in return.
What would your day be like if you simply noticed your feelings, needs, and desires?
What would it feel like if you attended to just some of those feelings, needs, and desires?
And what would our world be like if we each loved ourselves in this way?
Ways To Listen.
Journal using a back and forth dialogue between yourself and a compassionate voice (such as your older wiser self, a dear friend, a caregiver from your youth, or a higher power).
Pause or slow down while you are talking and just notice the words you say.
Consider if your inner thoughts or spoken words are longing for something to be noticed and addressed.
Meditate and notice the thoughts that arise.
Ask yourself “what am I feeling?”
Ask yourself “what is the hardest thing for me to admit right now?”
Ask yourself “what core need is being unmet?”
Ask yourself “what matters to me today?”
Resources:
Do a website search for NVC (non-violent communication) feelings and needs
Discuss it with a kind friend or therapist
Tara Brach books and podcast
Elizabeth Gilbert’s letters from love
Kristin Neff’s website and book
Navigating Today 