Just like me

Categorizing Is What Our Brains Do.
How do we end division when our brains automatically want to label and categorize? To help keep us safe, our brains were designed to put things into groups. When our ancestors were foraging for food, the unknown was unsafe. So our brains were helping us when they favored the known. This automatic process is not as beneficial in our modern day lives. In fact, it leads to increased fear and hate when we use it to categorize people. Seeing “other people” as bad, simply because it’s unknown to us is a default mode of thinking that you do not have to let run unchecked.

Healing Division With Intention.
If you have a desire to feel closer to your fellow humans, Pema Chödrön (Reference 1, p. 26) offers a practice she calls “Just Like Me”. She suggests you go to a public setting and people watch. As you watch others, you say “Just like me, this person loses it sometimes. Just like me, this person doesn’t want to be disliked. Just like me, this person wants to have friends and intimacy.” What you say is not as important as how it feels for you to say it. The phrase you choose will likely be unique to you, something that touches your heart deeply in this moment. Perhaps a value or need that is important to you right now. By choosing something salient you will increase your ability to generate compassion and understanding for a fellow human. Imagine you’re feeling scared and unsafe emotionally; in that moment it may help to think “just like me they feel scared and are longing for safety.”

Why Practice.
We can find alignment with our fellow humans, be it strangers or a family member who doesn’t agree with us. As we practice, we move away from anger and sadness and we cultivate love and connection. 

Reference 1: Pema Chödrön, Welcoming the Unwelcome, 2019, Chapter 3