Firstly, excuse the lateness and crappy update times. I’m attempting to get my life into order as I enter into the last week of my holidays before university starts. Fun times for all
Secondly, this post isn’t about a scorned single young woman talking about how romance sucks. This is a post by a sarcastic single young woman laughing at the idiocy of a day that once symbolised sharing love, and is now about card companies, florists and chocolate makers capitalising on the population that is stupid enough to fall for their overpriced tricks. Capitalism at its finest. Do what you will with this opinion, but please treat it like an opinion. This is in no way intended to infringe on couples and individuals who love Valentines Day. It’s just an honest opinion.
I have received my fair share of red roses on Valentines Day. And I’m not going to lie. It did make me feel special. But at the end of the day, as I clutched a wilting red rose in my hands, one thought did occur to me. Is this a symbol for someone’s love and affection for me? An overpriced flower that will die in a day?
When I look at all the couples around me announcing their love for each other through sickeningly long posts on facebook and other social media, accompanied by photos of the gifts: read teddy bear that going to gather dust, flowers that are overpriced, standard jewellery and some chocolate; I get the urge to ask them whether they truly value each other. Whether they truly understand and care for each other. Whether they truly know each other.
Our lives have become meaningless in the social media age. We’re all about presenting the best side of ourselves. The most loved side. The prettiest side. The side that screams: I’m intelligent, loved and have this wonderful life that’s never experienced a down moment. But in reality, nothing is that sugar sweet. No couple can go through life without any bumps and grazes. Because we’re all human. Fighting and arguing and hitting speed bumps is in our nature. Relationships that don’t give you the chance to argue and maybe fight and then figure it out, don’t allow you to grow and understand each other. Now I’m not saying arguments and fights are healthy, but neither is a continuous honeymoon phase. Because you’ll never understand working hard for the person you love. Accommodating for them. Adapting. Making each other better.
There can never be enough grainy photos of candlelit, roof top dinners or balloons or flowers. But is that really a representation of how much the two of you mean to each other? A distinct need to showcase how much you got spoilt on one day out of the 365 in a year?
The fact of the matter is that people have lost their grip on why the day was once celebrated. What used to be a day to show how much someone meant to you even more so than usual has become a day capitalised by expensive and overpriced shows of affection that innately mean very little. And to think about it, why only choose one day of the year to explain how much someone means to you? Because is every other day just another day in your lives? Why choose the most internationally capitalised day to fall in love again or proclaim your love for someone?
Maybe it’s worth considering what your significant other really loves. Really cherishes. Really wants to do. Why wait until February 14 to shower them in flowers and jewellery when you can spend time figuring out a way to spoil them in a way that you know will signify that you truly love and care and know them?
Call me hopelessly romantic, but isn’t is a breath of fresh air when your partner spoils you out of the blue? When you come home from a stressful or busy day to them doing something for you or with you, unexpectedly? Isn’t it more special when there are no frills and no closing times to the moments the two of you are sharing?
Or is that just a notion that I have for myself? If I look at all the meaningful relationships in my life, romantic or not, the greatest memories I share and cherish are when I’ve been able to just chill and relax with them and really connect without worrying about anything. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy those trips when I have been surprised with tickets to shows and concerts or performances. But because there was no expectation, it was made even more special and memorable.
And on that notion, why has Valentines Day become a day where women are spoilt rotten by their significant others? To heteronormalise the whole affair, why is it just men spoiling their ladies? What happened to equality. What happens if I want to spoil my man? Am I allowed to do so on Valentines Day? According to convention, no I’m not meant to. V Day is a day for my boyfriend or husband to spoil me and that’s how its going to run. Why has it become a male competition for who can spend and spoil the most?
To me, that’s absurb. If I wanted to spoil my man, I wouldn’t need a day to do it firstly. But secondly, I wouldn’t expect that there is a day in the calendar where he’s expected to spoil me. I don’t want dramatic shows of affection.
So you might ask why I’m so cynical over Valentines Day.
I have received roses and chocolate and bears. But I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve been single through every valentines day that’s occurred since the day I was born. But I was never fussed about it. For me, it meant chocolate on sale the next day. Yes it is quite flattering to receive presents, but the whole letting a guy down thing really doesn’t work for me. I don’t like it.
Valentines Day has always just felt like another day to me. Because love isn’t about showing it on one day. It’s about letting it grow bigger and stronger with each passing day that you’re with the person you love. I might be looking at this whole event a little too deeply, but as someone who has always been of the mindset that if you want to spoil, you don’t need a birthday or a specified date to do so, I find spending one day in dedication to “love” a bit too much.
At the end of the day, if Valentines Day is your thing, go ahead and celebrate. But I know for a fact that one day when I do meet the man of my dreams, we both won’t need a capitalised Hallmark day to show our love for each other. After all, we wouldn’t be together if that was the premise of our relationship.
What is love if it doesn’t let you grow and learn and cherish the other person?
Now it’s time to wait until Wednesday when my chocolate is half price, and I can finally return to browsing jewellery stores for new rings without having to internally die at all the heart shaped cringe on display.