It occurred to me today, that nothing is truly hidden from the world. Nothing is truly hidden from our eyes and our minds.
The smiles and the expressions; the beauty behind the chaos. All of it could be muted, hidden and grey, but our eyes would still highlight our inhibitions, our fears, our sorrows, our happiness and our faith. Our eyes would still be alight with the emotion and passion coursing through us, whether positive or negative.
No matter how many fake smiles or reassurances or forced exclamations of pride and exuberance are thrown out to the world, we can never hide our truest and purest intentions from our eyes.
And I’ve realised how accurate this all is when I think about myself. My poker face is worthless in the light of brewed Ecuadorean single origin coffee coloured eyes (self love for eyes so dark, they’re basically black) that defy my motive to stay hidden and not reveal my truest emotions
Solace is found for the veiled piano player playing her heartfelt transposition of ‘Say Something’ by A Great Big World, and quietly humming along lest she wake the rest of the house – although of course if she was given the opportunity, her mezzo-Saprano voice would reverberate throughout the house. Obviously. While the second floor may be her castle, few are appreciative of a midnight piano session.
I’ve taken to piano again in the midst of a chaotic roller coaster of emotions. It’s a little messy right now. Self love is so difficult. Memories that were once cherished have turned into poisoned blades and they keep resurfacing. It isn’t fun. But I never quit. The hustle is real and I wasn’t raised to hide from my fears and insecurities.
In recent weeks, I’ve taken to playing around with lighting and temperature and portraiture through the lens. I love using my DSLR but I proved to myself that iPhone photography when done right is bloody brilliant.
It’s a thing now?
Let’s see where my grey scale obsession takes me.