I am 17 years old. I’m self conscious and struggle to see myself as the young woman I know I am in my mind. Assertive, confident, intelligent, driven towards becoming an economic policy advisor, firey, and most importantly, happy with everything she’s been blessed with.
But that’s about to change.
Today, after having a nice long chat with myself in the shower, while Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors reverberated around the bathroom, I decided that I need to actively work to change how I see myself. Thinking hard about it, I came to realise that I haven’t been happy with how I look or who I am academically or socially since I was 13.
And frankly, the only person who’s losing out on it is me.
So I’ve made the decision to change my perception about myself. It isn’t going to be easy. I know that, But I know that I am capable and I am a fighter. I’m determined and headstrong, and I’ve finally put my heart to it. The uphill battle looms and I know there will be days where I feel like curling up and not seeing anyone. Throwing myself a pity party by wearing pyjamas all day and watching reruns of Ugly Betty. And I know that slowly, I’ll have days where I know I look bomb AF because I feel bomb AF. I feel classy and I know that I’ve dressed to look good for myself (screw others really. I do things for myself now. There is no way in hell I’ll ever let someone influence the way I thought I needed to be). I know I’ll rock those heeled boots and that gorgeous leather jacket just waiting to be worn (I’m ready for winter y’all). And one day, I’ll be able to look at myself in the mirror and not dwell upon the fact that I have three tiny moles on my face.
It’ll happen. I’ll make it freaking happen or die trying.
Because it is time that I look at myself for who I am. Whether it be through the little things like making sure I exercise every day, even if it’s just yoga, or treating myself to that scoop of ic ecream because life is to enjoy, I’ll make it up this hill. I’m finally ready.
I’m working towards myself.
So let’s start with this selfie I took. My brows aren’t done and I can see imperfections on my face. I have no make up on. But that’s ok.
We always have to start somewhere don’t we?