I am not ok 

My YouTube feels are out of bloody control right now. I’m at work and basically trying to keep your chill when you have none is an essential life skill that I was not born with. 

Everyone knows my love for iisuperwomanii. I think she’s bloody hilarious and an inspiration because of her dedication and drive in her work. 

Everyone also knows my love for Sam Tsui because he has a jawline that could cut diamonds, the voice of an angel and is basically perfection. 

For the past two years I’ve missed out on seeing either of them due to school, exams and commitments that would arise every time any sort of YouTube convention came to Sydney. I was especially pissed when I missed superwoman’s world tour because I had my HSC half yearlies.

So instead I stuck to hoping that during superwoman’s 12 collabs of Christmas, I would see the two of them work together.

This year, that wish came true. And I. Cannot. Deal. 

Trying to suppress a squeal of excitement in a professional setting especially when your coworkers are stressed af because they need to finish all their work before Christmas is a bloody huge challenge for me. I also need to present the facade of being calm, collected and focused as I run a report for my manager. The struggle is real. 

I am not ok. I don’t think I will recover. The fan girl has encapsulated me. I am not ok. The fan girl life is not easy. These struggles are harder then any history extension essay I’ve ever written. Having to suppress the fan girl is no easy feat.

Christmas has been so wonderful this year, and the day hasn’t even arrived yet. 

xx Simran 

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